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The Latest Jokes - Page 106
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're eveready i'm frito lay.
Why did the blond put lipstick on her forehead? She was trying to make up her mind!
How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You shove it in of course
why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them!
A Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, and a Software Engineer are riding down a hill in a car. Suddenly the brakes go out and the car speeds out of control. After a few tense minutes, they're able to steer the car into a field and coast to a stop. Immediately, the Mechanical Engineer gets out of the car and begins inspecting the brake lines, the rotors, etc while the Electrical Engineer starts checking the wiring. The Software Engineer gets out of the car, looks around a bit, and turns to the other two. "Let's push it back up the hill and see if it happens again."
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I Looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mama ... I don’t know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
an apple looked at another apple lying in a crisper. he said to it "hey, man, what's up?" the other apple responded, "whoa! a talking apple!"
Bill and Jim are lumberjacks. One day, Jim cut his leg off by accident, so Bill put the leg in a plastic bag and took Jim to the hospital. "Will he be alright?" Bill said. "Yes, just come back in four hours." four hours later, Bill came back. "Where's Jim!?" Bill said. "He said something about going to play soccer." So Bill went to the soccer field, and sure enough, Jim was playing. The next month Jim cut his arm off, so Bill put the arm in a plastic bag and took Jim to the hospital. "Will he be alright?" Bill asked. "Come back in six hours, arms are more complex then legs." Bill came back six hours later. "Where's Jim!?" Bill said. "He said something about shooting targets." So Bill went to the shooting range, and Jim was there, firing a rifle. The next month, Jim had a horrific accident and cut his entire head off. So Bill put the head in a plastic bag and took Jim to the hospital. "Will he be okay?" Bill asked the doctor. "Well, heads are more complex then arms and legs combined, so come back in 24 hours." Bill did, and the doctor came up to him. "Bill, I'm afraid Jim is dead." Bill burst into tears "Did the surgery fail!?" Bill said trough his tears. The doctor said "The surgery went fine! He suffocated when you put him in that plastic bag!"
That’s the trouble with being greeted “Have a nice day!’ it puts all the pressure on you
Did you hear about the new Beatles soap? You put it in the bathtub and watch the Ringo.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Why did the lobster blush? Because he saw the salad dressing! Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 93.7304% The joke's popularity is: 4.504
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