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The Latest Jokes - Page 158
What do you call a dinosaur that you play hide-and-seek with? A do-you-think-he-saw-us?!
Chickens cross the road, Nuns cross themselves.
how many hypnotists does it take to change a light bulb? have you ever tried to change a light bulb whilst you're asleep?
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw." The bar tender replyed "OH MY GOD, YOU CAN TALK."
there's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they all escaped from jail. They find a farm and they each hide behind a sack of potatoes. The cops come up to the first sack of potatoes and the brunette goes "meow" and the police say "oh it's okay it's just a cat. So they go up to the next sack of potatoes and the redhead says "rooooof!" and the cops say " oh it's ok it's just a dog" so they go up to last sack of potatoes and the blonde says "POTATO!"
Yo Momma's So Fat, She Wears Socks On Each Of Her Toes
your momma's so old her social security number is 4
your momma's so fat she jumped and the band skipped
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3. One to screw it in, and 2 to write depressing songs about missing the old one.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!” Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 53.0035% The joke's popularity is: 4.753
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