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The Latest Jokes - Page 163
A blonde and a brunette meet on their way into heaven. The blonde is blue and shivering, and the brunette has a gunshot wound. While waiting for Saint Peter, they start talking. "So, how did you die?" asks the blonde. "Well, I thought my husband was cheating on me with another woman, so today I left work early to catch them together. I got home and found my husband alone. 'Where is she?' I asked him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about, so I searched the entire house. I looked in the bathrooms, the closets, the basement, everywhere, but I didn't find her. I felt so bad about not trusting him that I shot myself." The shivering blonde said, "You idiot! If you'd checked in the freezer, we'd BOTH still be alive!"
Patient: Doctor,Doctor! My hair is falling out. Do you have anything that I can use to keep it in?
Doctor: I have this plastic bag.
what did the acorn say when it grew up?
gee im a tree. (geometry)
what time is the best to do to the dentist?
tooth hurty
What did the centipede eat for breakfast? Bacon and Legs.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
they invited me into the quarterback club but i passed.
What do you get to see when you throw a clock out of a windown?
You get to see time fly.
microsoft developed its own version of linux in the 60s but ended the project because it was "too stable"
your shirt is orange pause pause pause not
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: How did the blond break her arm raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 45.2312% The joke's popularity is: 4.840
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