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The Latest Jokes - Page 166
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland
asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer
for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs
limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could
carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you:
I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question
you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of
her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have
nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And
what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a
woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father
have a good day!
Knock knock? Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who? *silence*
A bear walks into a bar an says to the bar tender, "I would like a bourbon and...... a coke." The bar tender says "What's up with the big pause?" The bear said "I've had them all my life"
What did the fireman say about the fire at the circus?
It was in-tents.
They say that practice makes perfect but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
What happened to the gay magician? he disappeared with a poof!
i spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone
What's big, green and sits in the corner? The incredible sulk!
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go play in the park?
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,
I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death
in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter
and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand "
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Two guys run into a bar. Hurriedly, one asks the bartender, "How tall are penguins?" Gesturing with his hand, the bartender says, "Oh, about this tall." The man looks at his friend and says, "I told you those were nuns that we hit." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 83.0918% The joke's popularity is: 3.316
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