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The Latest Jokes - Page 176
A redhead walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor,"It hurts EVERYWHERE I touch."
The doctor said,"Impossible! Show Me"
The redhead then proceeds to touch her arm, head, leg, etc.,and every time she wails in pain.
The doctor calmly asks,"Are you a natural redhead?"
The girl says,"No, I am originally blonde"
The doctor replies, "Oh, then you have a broken finger!"
a jewish man calls his mother and ask how she is doing. She says she is fine but has not eaten in 38 days. The son asks "why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother says, "I didn't want my mouth to be full when you called."
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didnt like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didnt often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbits wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.
How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows, because as soon as the light comes on they all scatter.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
Who did Ray Charles bump into at the supermarket? Everybody!
why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
what do mountains do when they are thirsty? They drink mountain dew!
what is white and cannot climb trees? A fridge
sexytime
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A girls first time As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled. Naughty, Naughty! Excuse me, What were you thinkin'? Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 3.8341% The joke's popularity is: 6.360
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