The Latest Jokes - Page 183

 

why did the dinosaur cross the road? because chickens weren't invented yet!
    100.0% funny

 

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about How witty The only thing worse than being witty is not being witty
    85.4% funny

 

If she were a president, she would be babraham lincoln
    15.7% funny

 

Why did the tomato turn red? Because the salad was dressing
    91.1% funny

 

Why do they call it diabetes? Shouldn't they call it live betes so people are more optimistic?
    0.0% funny

 

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb, and the other to hold the penis - LADDER! I mean ladder.
    49.0% funny

 

Patient: Doctor, im going to die in 60 seconds! Doctor: hold on a minute
    12.3% funny

 

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
    0.0% funny

 

Man 1: I`m so hungry Man 2: Hello MR. Hungry, can I call you So
    88.1% funny

 

what's up? the sky
    5.4% funny

 

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