|
|
The Latest Jokes - Page 185
what do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence
A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.
The blonde agreed to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."
The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles. The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."
On the third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse." The boss pulled the new employee in and says, "You were doing so great. The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?"
The blonde replied, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket."
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to actually writing the ticket, and as he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?" The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies." The farmer said, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." The trooper nodded and went back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stopped and said, "Hey, wait a minute... are you trying to call me a horse's ass?" The farmer replied, "Oh, no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass." The trooper said, "Well, that's a good thing," and went back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer said, "Hard to fool them flies though."
Your Momas so stupid she had to climb over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
yo mama so fat...that when she jumo for joy SHE GET STUCK!
My Girlfriend used to say that we should talk more during sex. So she called me from a hotel room.
did you see the pirate movie? it's rated arrrr
why did the cashew go crazy? because he was a little nut
What do you call a flea on the moon?
A lunatic
what do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt and crosses back again. Answer: a dirty double crosser
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: An atom walks into a bar, gets wasted. As he's leaving, he slaps his pockets and says, "Darn, I've lost an electron". The bartender said "Are you sure?" So the atom says, "I'm positive." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 65.8635% The joke's popularity is: 3.396
How does this site work? |
 |