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The Latest Jokes - Page 187
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan!
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
Three Rednecks were working high up on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, dang, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?" "Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" Well, not exactly", KC says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Cooter's widow'." She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.".... then I said "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are." Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.
Yo momma so fat, that when she was on t.v. she had to be broadcasted on 2 channels.
do you mind if i smoke? why are you on fire
A man is walking to McDonalds, when he sees a friend drive by in a car. The friend honks his horn and the man waves back. Then, the car turns around and honks at the man again. The man waves once again. Then the car come around yet again and honks. This time the man decides to ignore the person. So, as he continues to walk to McDonalds, he sees another friend driving by. The driver honks, and the man waves back. Then the car turns around. "No, not again," the man says. But sure enough, the driver honked at him. The man just ignored him. Then yet another car repeats the same things, making the man become rather curious. It seemed as if they were trying to tell him something. But what?
Finally he arrives at McDonalds. He orders his food and sits at a table by himself. Then, the three friends who were driving in the cars arrive in McDonalds. They order their food, then sit with him. They talk politely, leaving out the entire incident with the cars. Finally, the man cannot stand it any longer. He asks them why they kept turning the cars around, and can you guess what they said? Umm... I forgot. But it was a real hoot, let me tell ya! I couldn't stop laughing!! Sorry!
What do you call a group of nuns in a shed?
Virgin Megastore!
What is a word that starts with f and ends with uck?
firetruck
what is The only food in the world that can decrease a womans sexual drive by 95%?
Wedding cake!
Bill and Tom are both 90 years old and have been best friends their whole lives. One day Bill gets very sick and is about to die and Tom goes over to see him. Tom says, "Bill we've been friends our whole lives and i only ask for one thing. Tell me if there is baseball in heaven." Soon after, Bill dies. A week later, Tom is in his room sleeping when he is awakened by a voice. the voice says, "Tom,Tom." "who are you and how do you know my name," Tom says. "it's me bill and i'm here to tell you there is baseball in heaven." "well thats good," says Tom. "yeah," says Bill, "and you're pitching on Tuesday."
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: your mom is so clumsy she tripped on a cordless phone Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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