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The Latest Jokes - Page 190
Why did the dog wear glasses? His insurance didn't cover contacts
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
Whats a pirates favorite type of women?
A land ho!
a man walks into a bar. ouch thats gotta hurt.
How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It takes - I have a bicycle do you like spaghetti?
why did the turtle cross the road? to get to the shell station
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey I will make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT! ... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it me?" The other muffin said, "Holy cow! A talkin' muffin!"
What do you say to a chicken on his birthday?
Happy BIRDSDAY!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Last time I heard that joke I fell off my dinosaur. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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