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The Latest Jokes - Page 191
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in."
why didnt the skeleton cross the road?
because it didnt have the guts
If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph, you might be a redneck.
Why did the bubble gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
What happens if there are five emos in a square room?
One dies because he doesn't have a corner to cry in.
There is a blonde, brunette, and a red head. They all have to swim breast-stroke across the English Channel. They all start at the same time, the brunette comes first and makes a new world record! Then the red head comes an hour later, she does an ok time. Then the blonde finishes some 6 hours later.
A man asks "If you are so slow, then why did you enter the race?"
The blonde replys "Well I didn't want to say anything, but they were all using thier hands!"
stop the world I want to get off!
There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door
"Who is it?"
"Blind man" is the reply
"OK, come on in then"
"Nice boobs, where do you want your blinds"
why did the ocean wave? because the sea weed
Why don't you ever want to go to the bathroom with a pokemon?
Because he'll pikachu
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: What do steroid and hurricanes have in common? They make you run faster. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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