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The Latest Jokes - Page 194
hollywood is a place where they shoot to many movies and not enough actors.
never moon a warewolf.
where does a horse go if it breaks its leg? a horsepial
"I can tell by your accent that ye're Irish. Pray tell, what part o' Ireland ye from?"
"I'm from Dublin" the man replied.
"Are ye now? Well, it just so happens I'm from Dublin meself. Where 'bouts did ye grow up?"
"I grew up on the south side, near Malcolm Street." said the second man.
"Well kiss my Blarney Stone!" said the first, "I grew up on Malcolm Street meself. Tell me, did ye go to school around there?"
"Aye, I went to St. Agnes."
"Faith and Begorrah! I went to St. Agnes meself. What year'd ye graduate?"
"I was in the class o' '67"
"Well ain't this a small world!" said the first man "I graduated in 1967 meself"
About this time another man walks in and sits down at the opposite end of the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender take him his usual he says:
"Evening, Mike, you know it's gonna be a long night when the O'Malley twins get drunk."
Knock Knock.
Whose there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita hurse. Your kill'in me!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, why the long face?"
What did the elephant come out of the attic with? A dusty trunk!
what did the apple say to the banana? nothing. apples can't talk.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a dinosaur? Jurassic Pork
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman. The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied, "Yes father, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: So there's a guy who runs a tomato booth at a farmer's market. He only has to say a few things, because his customers only ask him a few questions. During a normal day, this is his conversation: The customer asks "What do you sell here?" And he says "Tomaaatoes!!!" And the customer replies "How fresh are they?" "Fresh, fresh, fresh!" "Should I buy them?" "If you don't, someone else will!" But one day, a thief came to his booth and asked "What's in the cash register?" "Tomaaatoes!!!" "Are you being fresh with me?" "Fresh, fresh, fresh!" "Should I shoot you?" "If you don't, someone else will!" Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0.000
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