The Latest Jokes - Page 198

 

I just taught my old service dog how to beg ... Yesterday he came home with $4.37
    100.0% funny

 

name all santas reindeer Rudolf,comet,dancer,blitzen,quipid,vixen, donner,dasher,prancer You forgot Olive Olive the other reindeer.
    25.7% funny

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
    48.7% funny

 

i met a woman the orther night and asked her how she would like her eggs in the morning. she replied,unfertilized
    56.9% funny

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
    73.1% funny

 

A Buddhist monk walks into a pizza shop and says, "Make me one with everything."
    52.4% funny

 

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
    89.1% funny

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    46.9% funny

 

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
    16.3% funny

 

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    0.0% funny

 

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