The Latest Jokes - Page 219

 

A priest, a reverend and a rabbi are trying to decide what percentage of donations they should keep for themselves and what portion they should give to God. The priest says, "Well I draw a circle on the ground and throw the money up in the air. Whatever lands in the circle is for God and I keep the rest." The Reverend says, "I also draw a circle but I keep whatever lands in the circle and give God the rest." Then the rabbi says, "I also draw a circle and throw the money up in the air. Whatever lands, I keep. I figure whatever God wants he'll take on the way down."
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Two cows in a field, one says "moo" the other says "oh! i was going to say that!"
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A pastor was preaching a sermon at church one day. As usual, the congregation was less than interested. "This church's problem is ignorance and apathy!" the pastor shouted. A woman turned to her husban and asked, "What does that mean, dear?" "I don't know and I don't care," he replied.
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Why does a space rock taste better than an earth rock? Because it's a little meator
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Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else.
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Why is the longest nose only 11 inches? Because otherwise it would be a foot.
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Two priests were walking past a pub one night when a man who had obviously had too much to drink suddenly jumped in front of them shouting, "I'm Jesus Christ! I'm Jesus Christ!" One priest just looked at the man, smelling the whiskey on his breath. He then politely said, "No, my son. You are not Jesus Christ." The man again said, "I'm Jesus Christ! I'm Jesus Christ!" and again, the priest calmly told the man he was mistaken. The man was determinted to prove his identity said, "I'm Jesus Christ! Follow me. I'll show you." So the two priests followed the man into the pub. As soon as they entered, the bartender looked up and said, "Jesus Christ! Not YOU again!"
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Did you see the new pirate move? It was rated ARRRGGGHH
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very nice how much? hi 5!
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want to hear a dirty joke? a white horse fell in a mud puddle
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