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The Latest Jokes - Page 220
what do ghosts wear on their feet? BOOts!
what did the carpet say to the floor? don't move, I've got you covered!
How do you make a pool table laugh?
Stick your hands in its pockets, and tickle its balls!
a guy was walking alone the road with a girl on his back and his mate sees him and calls him over.
mate:so were you going?
man:a party.
mate:what kind of party?
man:fancy dress
mate:ohh!what are you going as?
man:a turtle
mate:then whos that on your back?
man:thats machel
I don't believe in Karma
The chances of anything happening to me are slim
What is the name of the tenth reindeer?
Olive. ("All of" the other reindeer)
Two mathematicians went out to lunch. Over lunch, one complained that most people don't understand even basic math. The other took a more optimistic view. A short time later, while the pessimist was in the bathroom, the other called the waitress over. "I am going to call you over in a few minutes," he explained, "and I am going to ask you a question. I want you to answer X3/3. OK?"....When the pessimist came back, he called the waitress over. "Look, I'll prove people understand math better than you think. OK, young lady, what is the integral of X2?"... "X3/3" she slowly repeated and walked away. Then she turned around and said,
"Plus a constant."
what is gray, weighs 2 tons and does not matter?
an irrelephant
My grandmother went back to school to get her degree, and when she took her final exam the entire family waited by the phone to see if she would graduate. The teacher called and said, "i'm sorry, your grandmother has passed."
There's a mathematician a physicist and an engineer staying in a hotel; and there's fire out side each of their rooms. The engineer goes out with a bin filled with water and puts out the fire, the physicist works out the exact measurements required to put out the fire with the least amount of energy and then does so and the mathematician looks at the fire says "a solution exists" and goes back to bed.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Why did chicken cross road? Who cares? Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 88.9698% The joke's popularity is: 4.983
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