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The Latest Jokes - Page 244
A guy goes to a comedy club he's never been to before. He has a drink and since it's open mike night he's not surprised when somebody steps up out of the audience and clears his throat. "Number 225," says the fellow and everybody just doubles over. Then he follows up with another couple of numbers and those elicit howls as well. After he sits down another man steps up to the microphone and does the same thing, getting big laughs from 124, 43, and 509.
Finally he can take it no longer and he asks a guy sitting at a nearby table who has laughed throughout, "What the heck is going on?!? They aren't telling jokes, they're just spitting out numbers!"
"We've heard every joke in the book in this place and we know 'em all by heart. Years ago we numbered them and just tell the numbers now instead of the jokes."
Just then they see another fellow step up on stage and yell out, "54," but this time nobody laughed. The first man looked quizzically at his previously laughing companion who replied, "It was how he told it."
What is the difference between an extroverted mathmatician and an introverted mathmatician? An extroverted mathmatician looks at YOUR feet when talking to you.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
Whoever laughs last, thinks slowest
The young Texan came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young Texan answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
Q: how many ninja does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:none. ninja prefer darkness.
A cowboy is out riding the range on his horse and gets caught by Indians, who take him back to their Indian village. When he gets there the Chief comes in and says "ok white man, we have a tradition in our tribe that you get one wish a day for 3 days, then you die. Time for your 1st wish" The cowboy says, Id like to speak wiht my horse. So the Indians bring in the horse, the cowboy whispers in his ear. The horse rides back to town and brings back a hot blonde, who goes into the tent with the cowboy and leaves 2 minutes later. The next day the cowboy again wishes to speak with his horse, he again whispers in the horses ear. The horse goes into town and brings back a hot brunette. She goes into the tent and leaves a minute later. On his third and final wish the cowboy again wishes to speak wiht his horse. The horse is brought in and the cowboy takes the horse by the riegns, looks him in the eye and yells "I said posse!!!!"
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a bear? Because it will kill you with it's bear hands.
An atom walks into a bar, gets wasted. As he's leaving, he slaps his pockets and says, "Darn, I've lost an electron".
The bartender said "Are you sure?"
So the atom says, "I'm positive."
a sandwich goes into a bar. the bar man says sorry we don't serve food here.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: what is big, red and eats rocks? A Big red rock eater Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 66.9102% The joke's popularity is: 4.981
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