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The Latest Jokes - Page 255
what do you get when you have sex with a bird?....chirpies!
Why didn't the Skeleton go to the ball? It had no body to go with.
If it was my decision, I would have meade people allergic to dangerous things, like tigers and sharks.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.
sex is like mathematics...you add the couple, subtract the clothes, divide the legs... and pray you don't multiply!
Three blondes sat down at the bar and started high-fiving each other. The bartender asks "Gee girls, what's the celebration?" One replied, "We just finished a very difficult jig-saw puzzle and it only took us 10 months to finish." The bartender responded, "10 months? That's not so great." The blonde responded, "Oh ya? The box said 4 to 5 years"
why did the tiger cross the road - to eat the chicken
Three older women were living in a house together. One woman started to draw herself a bath and shouted
"Was I getting in the tub or out of it?"
The other woman started to go upstairs and shouted
"Was I going upstairs or down stairs?"
The other woman said
"Thank god I'll never be like that." and tapped on the counter for good measure. Then she shouted upstairs
"I'll come up to help you two just as soon as I answer the door."
a carrot gets hit by a car and survives, his friends come to see him in the hospital. They ask the doctor if he'll be ok. The doctor say's he'll be ok but he'll be a vegtable for the rest of his life
The cannibal walks into a brain store, once in he asks after the price on European Brain.
The shopkeeper answers:
One 1000 pounds a kilo.
The canniball asks why
The shop keeper answers that everyone wants national brain
The cannibal says O.K. seems fair. But he thinks its a little to expensive so he asks how much asian brains costs.
The shopkeeper says that it also costs 1000 pounds because of the fract expenses.
The cannibal of course thinks that that costs to much so he asks how much American brain costs.
The shopkeeper answers 100000000 pound.
The cannibal is of course chocked and asks how this can be.
The shopkeeper answers DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET OLY ONE OUNCE OF AMERICAN BRAIN!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: The pope decided to go for a ride one day, do he ordered his driver to hit the road. After a few boring miles, the Pope took the wheel, and, putting his driver in the back, got carried away with the power and handling of the car. He was soon stopped for speeding, and gave the officer his license. "Just a sec...I'll be right back," said the officer, and radioed his sergeant. "You'll never guess who I just stopped! I got a big'un!" "Who?" replied the sergeant. "The mayor?" "Bigger'n that!" "Jeez, the governor?" "I don't know, but he's got the Pope for a driver!" Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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