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The Latest Jokes - Page 261
A senior couple decided to go shopping one day, and split their efforts by going separate ways. Near the end of the shopping event they decided to get together for lunch. As the woman was on her way to the rendezvous point, she heard a traffic warning on the radio that a car was driving in the wrong direction up ahead. Knowing that her husband was near the point of the warning, she decided to call him on the cell phone. When he answered, she explained, "I just heard on the news, someone is driving in the wrong direction on the highway!" And the husband replied, "One? There's hundreds of folks going the wrong way where I am!"
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and anything? an angry vampire!
TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
What movie theater do snowmen have to go to? Ciniplex snodeon
What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A booberry
What does a bee flying backwards say? Zzub Zzub
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other muffin and say " Geesh its hot it here." The other muffin scream "AHH A TALKING MUFFIN."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
what kind of birds stick together? velcrows
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever." A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 72.2330% The joke's popularity is: 2.712
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