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The Latest Jokes - Page 261
A senior couple decided to go shopping one day, and split their efforts by going separate ways. Near the end of the shopping event they decided to get together for lunch. As the woman was on her way to the rendezvous point, she heard a traffic warning on the radio that a car was driving in the wrong direction up ahead. Knowing that her husband was near the point of the warning, she decided to call him on the cell phone. When he answered, she explained, "I just heard on the news, someone is driving in the wrong direction on the highway!" And the husband replied, "One? There's hundreds of folks going the wrong way where I am!"
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and anything? an angry vampire!
TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
What movie theater do snowmen have to go to? Ciniplex snodeon
What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A booberry
What does a bee flying backwards say? Zzub Zzub
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other muffin and say " Geesh its hot it here." The other muffin scream "AHH A TALKING MUFFIN."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
what kind of birds stick together? velcrows
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up to the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. lt was a 3-story mansion with a silver and blue sidewalk, a 50-foot flagpole with an enormous Patriots logo flag, and in every window, a New England Patriots flag. Peyton looked at God and said "God, l'm not trying to be ungrateful, but l have a question. l was all-pro QB, l hold many NFL records, and l even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what's your point Peyton?""Well, why does Tom Brady get a better house than me?"God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Tom's house, it's mine." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 68.2046% The joke's popularity is: 2.999
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