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The Latest Jokes - Page 264
How do you make a blonde laugh Monday morning?
Tell her a joke Friday night.
What do you call a pair of banana peels?
TWO SLIPPERS!
If a cat always lands on its feet and bread always lands jelly side down, what happens if you strap a piece of bread with jelly on it on the back of a cat?
When somebody hands me a flyer it's basically their way of saying "Here, throw this away for me!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Bo. Bo who? Cry Woman, cry!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the 'possum it could be done.
So there's a guy who runs a tomato booth at a farmer's market. He only has to say a few things, because his customers only ask him a few questions. During a normal day, this is his conversation:
The customer asks "What do you sell here?"
And he says "Tomaaatoes!!!"
And the customer replies "How fresh are they?"
"Fresh, fresh, fresh!"
"Should I buy them?"
"If you don't, someone else will!"
But one day, a thief came to his booth and asked "What's in the cash register?"
"Tomaaatoes!!!"
"Are you being fresh with me?"
"Fresh, fresh, fresh!"
"Should I shoot you?"
"If you don't, someone else will!"
A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut.
The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair.
At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens.
She hears: “Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."
A dog and a pony meet for dinner and dog says "Are you hungry?" and the pony says "Can't you see I'm chomping at the bit?"
Why did the white horse fall in the mudd?
Because this is a dirty joke.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: How did the blond break her arm raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 45.2312% The joke's popularity is: 4.840
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