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The Latest Jokes - Page 268
A farmer was out in the cornfield, talking to the cornstalks. He says, "I've got a secret to tell you." The corstalk responds, "Go ahead, I'm all ears".
how do you catch a rabbit?
hide in a bush and make a sound like a carrot.
Why when birds fly in the sky and make a V-shaped pattern one side is always longer? Because it has more birds in it!
A man walks into a bar on a friday night, orders 3 pints of beer. He sits and takes a sip from each beer, over and over till all 3 are done.
The man repeats this act every friday night, and gets to know the barman. The barman eventually says that he can pour a beer at a time, so the 3 beers don't have to get warm while he sips at each.
The man explains to the bartender that he has 2 brothers living in other countries, and every friday night they "have a beer" with each other.
After a few months the man does not come into the bar at his normal time, and when he does show up, he looks visably shaken and disturbed. He walks up to the bar, and orders only 2 beers with a shake in his voice.
The bartender says the beers are free, in honour of what the man has obviously lost.
The man looks up, and says:
"How could you tell that my wife made me quit drinking?"
Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It was rated arrrrrrrr
what food is good for your eyesight?
"see"food
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Meh, who cares.
A little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time? No, her father said, Some of them begin with "If elected, I promise...
what has a bottom at the top?
legs
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.
As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday.
I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you don't even know the way to the post office!"
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: knock knock, Who's there? Phillis Phillis who? fill us a glass of water! Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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