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The Latest Jokes - Page 271
Q. How did the blonde hurt herself while raking the leaves?
A. She fell out of the tree
A husband and wife were lying in bed together one night. The wife rolled over and placed her hand lovingly on the chest of her husband.
"Honey," the wife said, "if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "Never, my dear."
The wife said, "I''m sure you would."
So the husband said, "Okay, I would"
"Would you let her sleep in our bed?" the wife asked.
And the husband replied, "I suppose so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her wear my clothes?"
"I doubt she''d want to," the husband said. "She''d be so much thinner."
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A. "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
why do men have long arms? so they can reach into the sink to do the dishes!
What did the blonde's right leg say to her left one? Nothing, they've never met!
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they have machines for that now.
Two guys run into a bar. Hurriedly, one asks the bartender, "How tall are penguins?" Gesturing with his hand, the bartender says, "Oh, about this tall." The man looks at his friend and says, "I told you those were nuns that we hit."
A duck walked into a drug store to buy some condoms. The store clerk said, "Should I put it on your bill?" and the duck responded, "What do I look like, a freak?!"
90% of all statistics are made up.
what did the carpet say to the floor?
I've got you covered.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station". "What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train crash!" Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 100.0000% The joke's popularity is: 3.508
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