The Latest Jokes - Page 273

 

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
    4.6% funny

 

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'
    18.2% funny

 

What do you get when you cross a cocker-spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cocka-poodle-doo
    73.7% funny

 

People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
    17.2% funny

 

Why did the chicken in the hemingway novel cross the road? To die. In the rain.
    56.1% funny

 

knock knock. whos there? Keith. Keith who? Keith me thweetheart!
    100.0% funny

 

Your daddy is so poor he can't even pay attention
    91.6% funny

 

How do you make antifreeze? Steal her nightie.
    98.1% funny

 

What did the cookie say when it was run over? Oh Crumbs!!!
    15.6% funny

 

Which runs faster, hot or cold water? Hot, because everyone can catch a cold!
    15.9% funny

 

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