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The Latest Jokes - Page 275
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
Because she wanted to see what was on the other side.
It's green and it's in the corner?
A Naughty frog!
A rabbi, a priest and a pastor were all in a boat together fishing. The pastor said to the others, "I think I am going to go over to that shore and sit down." So, he gets out of the boat, walks across the water and sits down on the shore. Then, the priest says to the rabbi, "I think I going to go over there to join him." So, he does the same as the pastor and sits next to him on the shore. The rabbi thinks to himself, "Well, if they can do it, so can I!" So, he climbs out of the boat, but he falls in the water. The pastor says to the priest, "Do you think we should of told him where the rocks were?"
Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde says, "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. 'You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor,' he sobbed. 'I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they? Some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!' 'This is not an unusual form of neurosis,' the psychiatrist said soothingly. 'Now tell me, just how long ago did you first become aware of this condition?' 'Condition?' The man sat up in his chair. 'What condition?'
how do you get pikachu onto a bus? Pokemon
whats white and can't climb trees? a fridge
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel bad, I look fat, ugly and hairy. Give me a compliment." The wife replies, "Your eyesight's near perfect. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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