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The Latest Jokes - Page 279
Knock, knock. Who is there ? Atch. Atch who ? Bless you !
if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed up.
A man sat next to an attractive blonde in a bar and kept glancing at his watch. "Is your date running late?" She asked.
He shook his head. "This watch is very hi-tech, and it's telling me your not wearing any panties."
The blonde laughed. "It must be broken, because I am wearing panties."
The man groaned and poked the watches face. "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.
what do you call a clumsy insect? a bumble bee!
A man is walking alone though the forest one day, when for no real reason he decided to talk to God. "Are you there God?" he says, and suprisingly God replies. "Sup," he says.
So the man, astonished that he's talking to God decided to ask a couple of questions. "God, what is eternity like for you?" and God replies "my son, to me eternity is but a mere second". "Wow," said the man "God, what is, a hundred thousandd million pounds like to you?" and God replies, "ahh my son. all the wealth in the world is like a single penny to me."
"God," said the man "can I have a penny?"
"Sure," said God "in a second".
what is the difference between a man and a computer?
with a computer you only have to punch the information in once
How do you get down from an Elephant? You don't you get down from a duck.
What's a ghost's favorite muffin? Boo-berry!
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: a jewish man calls his mother and ask how she is doing. She says she is fine but has not eaten in 38 days. The son asks "why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother says, "I didn't want my mouth to be full when you called." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 6.8263% The joke's popularity is: 6.223
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