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The Latest Jokes - Page 288
knock, knock
who's there?
gorilla
gorilla who?
gorilla me a cheese sandwich
Why did the wagon train stop in the middle of the road? They had injun trouble.
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.
"I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
"So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"
To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"
Why are blonde jokes short?so that men can remember them!
I love the hammer, it's smashing.
what goes up but doesn't go down?
YOUR AGE!!!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The Interupting sheep
The interupting sh
baaaaa!
A big burly bartender had a contest going. Anyone that could get another drop of juice out of a lemon after he squeezed it would receive $1000. All the stevedores, lumberjacks, oil workers, construction workers every type of strong men tried, but they all failed. Then, one day a scrawny little man with glasses and a derby hat came in, and asked to try out. Of course all the barflies, etc., laughed their heads off. If those other strong men couldn't do it, how could this small person possibly do it. So the bartender got a lemon and squeezed with all his might until no more juice was left and handed it to him. He squeezed and squeezed and, by George, not one, but three drops came out! The bartender couldn't believe it! He exclaimed, "How did you do that? What line of work are you in, mister?" The answer was "Why, I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Elmo's all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face," I think you misunderstood me yesterday.
Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles."
whats is red and invisible?
no tomatoes
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: two men were driving through the country when suddenly the man driving pointed out an area in a nearby field and said "that's where I first made love...it was beautiful. We were completely mad for each other and it lasted for hours, but then her mother showed up..." his friend quickly replied "oh no, what did she say"..."baaaaa" Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 74.5455% The joke's popularity is: 5.041
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