The Latest Jokes - Page 302

 

Knock knock. Who's there? Steve. Oh, hey Steve! Come on in!
    93.9% funny

 

A man was driving down the road when he suddenly heard a big thump. He proceeded to pull over and was very saddened to find a poor bunny squished on the road. He thought, "Oh no! How terrible! I've killed a poor animal!" A lady then pulled up beside the man and assessed the situation. She said, "I know just the thing for the job!" and pulled out a can. She sprayed the rabbit and magically, it sprung to life, hopped off a little ways and then waved. It hopped some more, waved, and finally made it into the forest. The man said to the lady, "Wow! What was that stuff?" The lady showed him the can and it said, "Instant Hair Restorer and Permanent Wave."
    59.4% funny

 

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a stoved driver? The drunk driver will run a stop sign, the stoned driver will wait for it to turn green.
    58.8% funny

 

what did the grape do when it got stood on? it let out a little wine!
    74.4% funny

 

WHAT DO COWS DRINK? MILK HAHAHAHA
    70.7% funny

 

"what did the ghost say to the bee" boobie
    62.7% funny

 

a vulture gets on a plane carrying two dead racoons... The stewardess tells him one will have to be stowed in the baggage compartment... the vulture asked why... she said.... only one carrion per passenger.
    66.3% funny

 

what do you call two blonds in your freezer? frosted flakes.
    54.6% funny

 

I intend to live forever... so far, so good.
    83.9% funny

 

Q: What do you call a group of puns? A: A Punnet!
    51.2% funny

 

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