|
|
The Latest Jokes - Page 309
what do you call a practice funeral? a reHEARSEal
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new Piano? No? Well neither has he.
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.
What did Pippin do when he got drunk?
He got Merry.
What did the hand say to the face?
SLAP!
My cat only likes me because I provide it with food.
It only took me one hour to do math today, i started at one o'clock and ended at 3 o'clock!
Welcome to the mental health hotline, if you have OCD, swab the number 5 with disinfectant thoroughly and then press it.
I'm against protesting, but i don't know how to show it
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Elmo's all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face," I think you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 84.9315% The joke's popularity is: 4.562
How does this site work? |
 |