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The Latest Jokes - Page 313
yo mama is so fat, when she walks down the streets in a yellow rain coat, people yell "TAXI!"
A man goes into a doctors office and the doctor says "i have some bad news, and i have some worse news". the man says "well whats the bad news?". doctor says "you have 24 hours to live.". man says "well whats the worse news???". doctor replies "well, i was supposed to call you to tell you about this yesterday..."
a man was stopped for speeding and when the cop aproached him, the man asked if he was there to sell tickets for the policemens ball. The policeman replied that policemen don't have balls, once he realized what he said he turned around and walked away.
How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, Unique up on it.
whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? It's cute, but can you breathe out of it?
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
what did the 10 pound canary say? CHIIIIIIRP!!!!!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: what did the snowman say to the other snowman freeze Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 79.5181% The joke's popularity is: 4.220
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