The Latest Jokes - Page 315

 

Did you hear about the guy who ran through the screen door? He strained himself.
    82.5% funny

 

Three college girls decided to go skinny-dipping in a pond on an old farm. As they are frolicking in the pond, an old farmer comes wandering up carrying an old wooden bucket. He stops right by the pond, eyeing up the girls quietly. "You might as well move on, mister...we aren't coming out any time soon,"comments one of the girls. "Don't you worry none,"the old man said. "I'm not here because of you girls." "Then what are you doing?" the girl asked. "Oh, I'm just coming out to give them gators in there their breakfast!", he replied.
    80.0% funny

 

A bear walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "sorry buddy, but we don't sell beers to bears in this bar". The bear beseaches bluntly.."please bring me a beer before I become berserk". The bartender says "Buddy, we just don't serve beers to bears in this bar, and I better not break the by-laws." By chance, "Bag-Lady-Betty" enters and sits down by the bear. The bear says "Bartender, bring me a beer before I take a big bite out of this bag-lady before me". The bartender says "You better listen buddy, we don't serve beers to bears in this bar and, brother, you better boogie!" The bear reaches over and grabs "Bag-Lady-Betty" and swallows her in one gulp. "Now" bemoans the bear, BRING ME A BEER AND IT BETTER BE A BUDWEISER!" The bartender says "Listen,you bastard,we don't bring beers to bears in this bar,especially bears on drugs!" The bear says "Drugs? What are you talking about?" The bartender says "That was a Bar-Bitch-You-Ate."
    0.0% funny

 

Doctor I'm a wigwam and a teepee. Calm down, you're too tense.
    42.9% funny

 

what do cows watch? moooovies
    64.6% funny

 

whats black, white, and red all over a burnt zebra
    100.0% funny

 

The Sun also rises, but Niagra Falls,
    85.7% funny

 

Ice skaters hate global warming.
    98.8% funny

 

What goes up often damages the ceiling.
    67.8% funny

 

A friend will help you move. A great friend will help you move the bodies.
    7.2% funny

 

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