The Latest Jokes - Page 317

 

One fish bumps into another fish and says, "I'm sorry, I had water in my eye."
    88.3% funny

 

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
    45.3% funny

 

How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
    80.6% funny

 

Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.
    59.9% funny

 

When does a turkey gobble? Before Thanksgiving.
    44.2% funny

 

A sailor with the tinyest head is sitting in a bar and the bartender is getting curiousor and curiousor and eventurally inquires about this condition. The sailor tells his story. "It's like this" he says. "I'm stranded on an island and I finds this bottle on the beach and gives it a rub or two and this beautiful, almost naked woman appears. She says that for setting her free, I gets three wishes. First I ask her for a million bucks. I gets it! Then I asks her to be sent back home on the mainland. I gets that too. An' then, just for fun, I asks her for a little head!
    0.0% funny

 

What do you get, when you cross a bridge with a car? Across.
    21.5% funny

 

What's a pickle? A cucumber in a sour mood
    60.2% funny

 

hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.If you are obsessive, compulsive press1 repeatedly. If you have multiple personalities,press 3-4-5-and 6
    30.4% funny

 

Blonde at counter (loudly): "I want a Hamburger and fries" Lady behind counter (hissing): "This is a Library." Blonde at counter: Oh, OK. (Whispering) ... I want a hamburger and fries"
    59.8% funny

 

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