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The Latest Jokes - Page 331
how do you keep a fish from smelling ? you cut off its nose
how do crazy people get through the forest? they take the psycho path
what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? elifino
why did the chicken cross the road? do they need a reason?
A cowboy is out riding the range on his horse and gets caught by Indians, who take him back to their Indian village.
When he gets there the Chief comes in and says "ok white man, we have a tradition in our tribe that you get one wish a day for 3 days, then you die. Time for your 1st wish"
The cowboy says, Id like to speak wiht my horse. So the Indians bring in the horse, the cowboy whispers in his ear. The horse rides back to town and brings back a hot blonde, who goes into the tent with the cowboy and leaves 2 minutes later.
The next day the cowboy again wishes to speak with his horse, he again whispers in the horses ear. The horse goes into town and brings back a hot brunette. She goes into the tent and leaves a minute later.
On his third and final wish the cowboy again wishes to speak wiht his horse. The horse is brought in and the cowboy takes the horse by the riegns, looks him in the eye and yells "I said posse!!!!"
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was run over by a car.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.
why did the cranberry turn red? It saw the turkey dressing!
what do mountains do when they are thirsty? They drink mountain dew!
what happened to the snickers bar in my pocket?
it melted
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 55.6804% The joke's popularity is: 4.904
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