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The Latest Jokes - Page 332
Why did the first Koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
It was playing follow the leader.
Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
It was stappled to the second Koala.
Why did the fourth Koala fall out of the tree?
It got hit by a fridge.
How did the Kangaroo die?
It got hit by four Koala's and a fridge.
been there done that, got the orange jump suit
I'm in a room full of little gnomes and my knees are on fire. Send beer.
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
"Honey I will make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!
Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?
I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! ... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women frequently complain about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
a blonde, redhead, and a brunet were riding in the back of a pick-up when it went off a bridge and sank in a lake. the redhead and the brunet got out but the blonde drowned because she couldn't get the tailgate open.
Why do seaguls fly over the sea? Because if they were to fly over the bay they would be called bagels.
What do you get when you cross Dracula with a snowman? Frostbite
Fettuccini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
what do you get when you have sex with a bird?....chirpies!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: you know the cheif medical officer's warning on cigarette packets, "smoking tobacco seriously damages your health"? it should read: "smoking tobacco seriously damages your wallet". Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 68.2284% The joke's popularity is: 4.834
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