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The Latest Jokes - Page 333
I can read minds, but I'm illiterate.
If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.
I saw a billboard for the lottery. It said, "Estimated lottery jackpot 55 million dollars."
I did not know that was estimated.
That would suck if you won and they said, "Oh, we were off by two zeroes. We estimate that you are angry."
I ate one anchovy, and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.
My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.
When somene hands me a flyer, it's like they're saying, "Here. YOU throuw this away for me."
A friend of mine asked me, "Want to see a picture of me when I was younger?"
EVERY picture of you is when you were younger! I want to see a picture of you when you're OLDER.
There once was a man named Norman who thought he was a Morman. He went to church and married Ms Birch and had three trees in the yard.
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I decided to get a suntan instead!
If 13 is unlucky, 12 & 14 are gulity by association.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: there were three boys going for a walk on the beach, and they saw a cave. one of them entered, and saw $5 on a table. he heard a voice which said "this is the ghost of auntie mabel and this $5 stays on the table." The second boy went in, and the same thing happened. the third boy went in, saw the $5 and said "this is the ghost of david crockett and this $5 goes in my pocket!" Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 43.8107% The joke's popularity is: 3.916
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