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The Latest Jokes - Page 338
Why did the moron throw butter off the
roof?....He wanted to see butterflys.
what did the 5 fingers say to the face? slap!
why do elephants paint their toenails red? to hide in a cherry tree.
What are pirate movies rated? RRRRR
One night, Tom does what he normally does --- he kisses his wife, crawls into bed and falls asleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe sitting next to him!
"What the heck are you doing in my bedroom...and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied. "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog would be too tiring, but a hen would probably have a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
And in the next second, he found himself nicely feathered and in a chicken farm. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Tom asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.
The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Doggone it Tom! Wake up! You're messin' up the bed sheets again!"
what is the best way to catch a fish? have somebody throw it to you!
Why do bees eat honey? Don't we all!!!
did you hear about the fire in at the circus?
it was intense.
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer "
what kind of birds stick together?
velcrows
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: I couldn't sleep for a week because that would be too long. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 9.1033% The joke's popularity is: 6.566
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