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The Latest Jokes - Page 341
Three Rednecks were working high up on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, dang, someone should go and tell his wife."
KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Well, not exactly", KC says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Cooter's widow'."
She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow."....
then I said "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."
Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
Where do bees go the bathroom? At the BP station
A man can be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
If it were not for the venetians, it would be curtains for us.
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to
keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of
distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and Witness
the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and
the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there.
why are fire engines red? You'd be red too if someone was pulling your hose all day long.
knock knock, whos there? doctor... doctor who?? thats right!
what do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt and crosses back again. Answer: a dirty double crosser
Farmer Brown had his egg farm smack dab in the middle of the chicken belt. A terrible disease went around that killed all the roosters. Farmer Brown had tens of thousands of hens, but no roosters to service them.
He drove up to Ol' McDonald's farm to see if he could buy some roosters from him, but roosters were selling at a premium and Ol' McDonald was running low on them.
McDonald told Brown that he could sell him one rooster named Brewster, though.
"But, I need a few hundred roosters for all these hens I've got!" cried Brown.
"Ah, but you haven't met Brewster," replied McDonald. "He's the worlds horniest rooster."
So, Brown takes Brewster home and turns him loose on 20 hens. Seconds later, Brewster was done with them.
Brown then turns Brewster loose on a whole hen house of 500 birds. A little while later, as the feathers settled, all of these hens were standing around smoking cigarettes.
So, that's the way it went. Day in and day out, Brewster was busy.
Brown became kind of worried and warned Brewster that he was going to f**k himself to death, but old Brewster ignored him and kept banging away.
Finally, one morning it happened.
Brown looked out the window and saw poor old Brewster laying out there in the road on his back, both wings spread out flat and one leg up in the air. There were even a couple of buzzards circling.
Farmer Brown walked up to Brewster and said, "I tried to warn you Brewster that you were going to f**k yourself to death."
Brewster opened one eye, and pointed up at the buzzards with the tip of one of his wings and said, "Shhh. One of 'ems fixing to land."
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Where is Engagement, Ohio? Somewhere between Dayton and Marrion! Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 50.0000% The joke's popularity is: 2.199
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