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The Latest Jokes - Page 352
what time should you go to the dentist? tooth-hurty.
What do you have after you clean your X-Box??? A Kleenix Box.
A policeman found a drunk crawling around under a street light. "What are you doing?" The drunk replied, "I dropped a twenty-dollar bill." "Exactly where did you drop it?" The drunk pointed across the sidewalk to some bushes. "Over there." "Then why are you looking here?" The drunk said, "'Cause the light is better here!"
During the last election campaign, a well-known politician stopped at
an Indian village to deliver a speech. "If I am elected," he began, "I
shall see that you noble redmen and women are treated with the respect
your heritage deserves." The Indians responded with loud cries of
"Oompah! Oompah !" The politician beamed and continued, "I'll see that
a washing machine is installed in every tepee." "Oompah !" the Indians
shouted. The politician bowed, and said, "I'll see that every Indian
family has a new automobile." As he finished, the Indians roared out
their mightiest "Oompah !" The chief then came forward and delivered a
speech in eloquent English and concluded by saying, "The Indians of
this reservation take great pleasure in presenting to you, as a token
of our esteem, our finest Indian pony." The politician stepped forward
to mount the horse, when the chief cried out, "Be careful, don't
step-in the 'Oompah.'"
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured woman happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the woman, " I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so." That night, while the woman dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."
knock knock... whos there? orange. orange who? Orange you glad we're friends?
What did the beggar say to the football coach? I want a quarter back
why did the absurdist cross the road? fish!
The sheriff asked his deputy "what would you do if you stopped a car for running a red light and the driver was your mother?"
The deputy replied, "Call for backup."
In Indiana you cannot hang a man with a wooden leg---you have to use a rope.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A guy walked into a bar, a second guy walked into a bar, kind of silly, you think the second guy would have seen the first guy hit it...and duck Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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