|
|
The Latest Jokes - Page 359
The difference between men and books is that my wife has never picked up a book.
Where does a lamb get it's hair cut? At the Baa-Baa shop!
see ya later alligator, after while crocodile
Jesus and St. Peter go golfing. St. Peter booms his first drive straight down the fairway, 300+ yards.
Jesus tees up and...slices, badly. The ball sails over the fence boardering the golf course onto a freeeway, karooms off a speeding car, and lands on the roof of a house on the other side of the road.
It rolls down the roof into the gutter, and shoots out the downspout into a pond boardering the house and lands on a lilly pad. A frog sees it and gobbles it up.
Just as the frog swallows, an eagle swoopes down and grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the fairway the frog expires and the ball falls out of his mouth and drops on to the green. It takes three bounces and...Hole In One!
St. Peter turns to Jesus and exclaims "Are you going to golf or just fool around all day?"
Why does the french dog have a bump on his head? Chasing parked cars!
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a
beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the
one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the
same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves
and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she
decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the
words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent
sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love
liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or
intelligence whatsoever."
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can
you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb
as the Lab's sentence."
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you,
little guy?"
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is
the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and
the Lab and says......
"Liver alone. Cheese mine."
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
what is red and fat
a popsicle
My ex-wife and I were happy for over twenty years . . . and then we met!
a vulture gets on a plane carrying two dead racoons... The stewardess tells him one will have to be stowed in the baggage compartment... the vulture asked why... she said.... only one carrion per passenger.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality. ''If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?'' ''I'd have to say the living one.'' Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 91.7167% The joke's popularity is: 4.921
How does this site work? |
 |