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The Latest Jokes - Page 364
how do you get rid of a rogue band of murderous clowns? go for the juggler
I'll be here till Thursday
A man goes to visit his cousin. He gets there after a couple of hours of travel. He walks in his cousin's house at supper time. Before dinner he looks at his plate and says, "Look there's a couple of black specks on this." His cousin says, "My dishwasher is broken, so that is as clean as soap and water can get them." The next night he sees black specks on the plate again. He asks, "Why are there black specks on the plate again?" His cousin says, "I told you that is as clean as soap and water can get them." As the man is leaving, he sees two dogs. He asks the cousin, "So, what are their names?" The cousin replies, "Soap and Water."
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting
older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of
mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't
remember whether I need to put it away or start making a
sandwich."
The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on
the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was
on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that
problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the
table. Then she told them, "That must be the door; I'll get
A duck walks into a grocery store and asks the manager for duck food. The manager replies "No, we only carry human food." So the duck leaves. He comes in the next day, same question, same answer. This continues for a couple of weeks. The manager is getting very annoyed. So one day he tells the duck, "I've told you this every day for several weeks. Tomorrow if you ask the same question, I'll nail your webbed feet to the wall!" The next day the duck walks in and asks "Do you have any nails?" The manager replies, "Why would I? This is a grocery store, not a hardware store." So, the duck asks, "Do you have any duck food?"
knock knock , who's there ? Justin, Justin who ? justin the neighbourhood, thought i'd drop by
My wife said she wanted to make love in the backset of the car. I said "ok". She said "you drive".
A man walks into a bar. And you know how that can hurt.
What does Santa do in his garden?
Hoe, Hoe, Hoe!
I'm so goth my smile muscles never grew.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: why did the cookie go to the doctor? he felt crummy. Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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