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The Latest Jokes - Page 378
LIFE IS FULL OF UNCERTAINTY, DEATH ON THE OTHER HAND IS NOT!
what did the scarve say to the hat? you hang around i'll go on ahead
to start, press any key. hey, where's the ANY key?
what do you call brunette between two blondes? a translator!
Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around.
They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up to the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. lt was a 3-story mansion with a silver and blue sidewalk, a 50-foot flagpole with an enormous Patriots logo flag, and in every window, a New England Patriots flag.
Peyton looked at God and said "God, l'm not trying to be ungrateful, but l have a question. l was all-pro QB, l hold many NFL records, and l even went to the Hall of Fame."
God said "So what's your point Peyton?""Well, why does Tom Brady get a better house than me?"God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Tom's house, it's mine."
Why do Irish stews have 239 beans? Because one more would make them two farty.
They say there is estrogen & anti- depressants in L.A.'s tap water. So that means my son will have huge breasts......but not really care about it!
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a radiator? Central bleeting
What has four wheels, and flies?
A garbage truck.
Who did Ray Charles bump into at the supermarket?
Everybody!
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," came the reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 32.9231% The joke's popularity is: 3.989
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