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The Latest Jokes - Page 389
Why are bagpipe players always marching?
To get away from the noise.
why did the chicken cross the road?
to show the possum it could be done.
why did the turtle cross the road?
to get to the shell station.
What does a ghost wear under his sheet?
Nothing.
what's green, has six legs and balls
a snooker table
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go "who"?
No, Silly. Cows go "moo"; olws go "who".
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
What is the only type of bee that gives milk?
A boo bee!
I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I
wanted decking.
Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.
What do you call Mohammed Ali after his beans on toast?
Gaseous Clay
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!" Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........ A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars." "I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure. Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone? Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham." (ringing) Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..." Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara." Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it: A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush" Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo." Barbara: "You think?" Maggie: "I'm sure." Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up) Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?" Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo" Regis: "Is that your final answer?" Barbara: "It is." Regis: "Are you confident?" Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet." Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara." (clapping) That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest? Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 55.4054% The joke's popularity is: 2.170
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