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The Latest Jokes - Page 397
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
knock knock
who's there
interrupting cow
interrupting co--
MOO
This room is so small, i need to go outside just to change my mind
why did the idiot throw his clock out the window, he wanted to see time fly.
What's the difference between kinky and erotic? Erotic is a feather, kinky is the whole chicken!
that's quacktastic!
what a fish's favorite place?
FINLAND!
Call the village. I found their idiot.
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.
During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"
Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen."
From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen."
This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.
Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.
But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -
"I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!"
I keep a bottle of whisky in my back pocket in case of snake bite. I keep a snake in my other pocket.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: One day Mike noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me", Mike stammered, "but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is." "Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied. "Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla is about to deck Mike when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments. Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside. "OK," the husband says gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife's tits." At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Mike takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growls. "I can't," replies our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling away. "Why not?" demands the husband, getting really angry now. "I don't have ten thousand dollars." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 42.2351% The joke's popularity is: 4.838
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