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The Latest Jokes - Page 399
why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1987 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Did you hear the joke about the bed? Well, it hasn't been made yet.
The new priest was so nervous at his first Mass that he could hardly speak
well at all. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the
monsegnior how he could relax. The monsegnior said to him: "Next Sunday,
it might help you if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After one
or two sips, it'll go fine." Next Sunday, the new priest followed the
monsignior's suggestion, and boy could he talk! -- never the less, when he
returned to the rectory, he found a letter from the monsegnior:
1. Next time, sip, don't gulp;
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12;
3. There are 12 Apostles, not 10;
4. We never refer to the Cross as the "Big T";
5. The recommended grace before meals is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for
the grub";
6. Don't refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his apostles as "J.C.
and the Boys";
7. David slew Goliath, he didn't kick his ass;
8. The Father Son and Holy Ghost are never referred to as "Big Daddy,
Junior and the Spook";
9. It's always The Virgin Mary, never Mary with the Cherry;
10. And last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a taffy pulling
contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
what do u call a man witha bird on his head?
answer: cliff
why didn't the turkey cross the road?
Because it was chicken
if you change the "R" in American to an "X" you get Amexican
I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It'd be so damn literal. "Hey, you're using that machine to its exact purpose!"
I met the girl who works at the Doubletree front desk; she gave me her phone number. It's zero. I tried to call her from here, some other woman answered. I said, "You sound older!"
You can't starve in the desert because of the sand which is there.
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson -- and when he shows up, they tell him there'll be a ten-minute wait. Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 68.4211% The joke's popularity is: 1.580
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