|
|
The Latest Jokes - Page 402
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control her pupils?
A Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, and a Software Engineer are riding down a hill in a car. Suddenly the brakes go out and the car speeds out of control. After a few tense minutes, they're able to steer the car into a field and coast to a stop. Immediately, the Mechanical Engineer gets out of the car and begins inspecting the brake lines, the rotors, etc while the Electrical Engineer starts checking the wiring. The Software Engineer gets out of the car, looks around a bit, and turns to the other two. "Let's push it back up the hill and see if it happens again."
why did the chicken run across the road?
it was getting away from coloner sanders
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There's nothing to cry about!
what do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other ?
Eileen
LIFE IS FULL OF UNCERTAINTY, DEATH ON THE OTHER HAND IS NOT!
Why did chicken cross the road?
It had to
A girls first time
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?
You can't starve in the desert because of the sand which is there.
what goes ha-ha boink? A man laughing his head off
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer ... you're in the wrong place." So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators; the engineer soon becomes a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great! We've got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators! And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next!" God exclaims: "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake! He should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan, standing his ground, challenges: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God replies threateningly: "Send him back up here or I'll sue!" Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right! And just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?" Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 64.0741% The joke's popularity is: 3.033
How does this site work? |
 |