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The Latest Jokes - Page 404
my grandfather is so generous that on his death bed, he sold me his watch
Escalators should not have "temporairily out of order" signs. They should have "temporairily stairs" signs.
Birds of a feather, flock together, and poop on your car.
Rice is good when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.
two cannibals were eating a clown. one says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
You know, that reminds me of my three-legged pig.
I was asleep when my house caught fire and the pig jumped through the window and rescued me. Dragged me out by my collar, just as the smoke was overwhelming me.
Three legs you ask?
Well, you can't eat a pig like that all at once!
a historian, an engineer and a statistician are duck hunting. a duck rises from the lake. the historian fires first, and shoots 10' over the duck. then the engineer shoulders the shotgun and shoots 10' under the duck. the statistician exclaimed "got him!
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.
The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."
"And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the Department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.
"Simple," said the Department manager, "Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"
rubber baby buggy bumpers
A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "We serve any kind of sandwich." So he says the the bartender, "Make me an alligator sandwich, and make it snappy!"
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest sci-fi epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size." The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong. Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 100.0000% The joke's popularity is: 4.196
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