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The Latest Jokes - Page 405

 

how many managers does it take to change a light bulb? One, he just delegates it.
    32.4% funny

 

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He felt crummy!
    100.0% funny

 

solar powered lawn mower
    56.3% funny

 

why dont seagulls fly by the bay? because then they would be called baygulls!
    56.6% funny

 

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back, a stick
    56.4% funny

 

what kind of sweaters do pirates wear? ARRRRRGGGGYLE.
    0.0% funny

 

Guy walks into a doctor's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The doctor says "Clearly, I see you're nuts".
    66.3% funny

 

what do you call lee with no friends? lonelee
    63.3% funny

 

google is frugal!
    71.2% funny

 

You mean... you can save your game in ff7pc? And all this time I've been leaving my computer on all night!
    54.3% funny

 

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Random Joke:

An Alberta cowboy was over seeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a cloud of dust towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy "If I tell you how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA Satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg Germany. Within seconds, he retrieves an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODCB connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his high-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on in amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second, and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You work for the Canadian Government," says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the young man, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here, even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for giving me an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows. this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000%

The joke's popularity is: 0
(where 7=super popular, 1=not popular)
 
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