The Latest Jokes - Page 407

 

why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? he had no guts
    52.4% funny

 

During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried. After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem. Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.
    78.5% funny

 

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
    71.5% funny

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
    51.7% funny

 

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
    12.6% funny

 

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
    79.6% funny

 

a guys says to a chicken, the yoke's on you.
    52.1% funny

 

A little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, - "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" The shopkeeper's heart melts and he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, - "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" Blushing, she rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, - "I don't fink my python weally gives a phuck."
    45.6% funny

 

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
    91.2% funny

 

Pain is the sensation of weakness leaving your body
    35.8% funny

 

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