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The Latest Jokes - Page 408
van gough walks intoa bar, bar tender says "want a drink vince?" he replies "no thanks I've got one ear!"
Two atoms are meeting:
A: Hi.
B: Hi.
A: Hey, I think I've lost an electron.
B: Are you sure ???
A: Yes, I'm positive.
it's a doggy dog world,
and i'm wearing milkbone underwear
A skeleton comes into the bar. The barkeeper asks: "What do you want?" The skeleton: "Two beer, and something to clean the floor".
A little girl and her dog are walking through the forest when they suddenly fall into a pit. They scramble and scramble but can''t make their way out. The little girl yells, the dog barks, but no one is around to hear their calls for help. Slowly, the night sky turns black and they find themselves engulfed in utter darkness.
Off in the distance, the wolves begin howling. Each howl is louder and closer than the last.
The little girl holds the dog close to her chest and says sadly to the dog, "This is the worst mess in which ever have found ourselves, my darling Sparky."
"Yeah," the dog says, "we''re really screwed."
Off in the distance, the wolves begin howling. Each howl is louder and closer than the last.
The little girl holds the dog close to her chest and says sadly to the dog, "This is the worst mess in which ever have found ourselves, my darling Sparky."
"Yeah," the dog says, "we''re really screwed."
"Sparky," the girl says, astonished, "I didn''t know you could talk."
"Well," the dog says, "I was kinda waiting for the right time to tell you."
Posh Spice and David Beckham are sitting in front of the TV watching the six o'clock news. The headline feature is a man who is threatening to jump off a Suspension Bridge onto the busy road below.
Posh turns to Beckham and says "Dave, I bet you $10,000 that he jumps." He replies "$10,000! It's a bet." The pair shake on it and continue watching the commotion on the TV. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
Beckham takes 10 grand out of his pocket and gives it to Posh. "I can't take that from you Dave" she says. "I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news earlier so I knew what was going to happen. I can't accept that money ."
Beckham replies "No, babe. The money is yours fair and square. I was cheating too. I just didn't think he would do it again
Two blonds walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, "Did you see it?"
why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances, and ends by blocking his retreat.
That’s the trouble with being greeted “Have a nice day!’ it puts all the pressure on you
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: your momma's so old her social security number is 4 Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 3.985
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