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The Latest Jokes - Page 409
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Blonde teen to hot dog vendor: How long are your foot-long hot dogs?
Dad to buddy's tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you're an alcoholic.
Dad's own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast!
pretentious pickles and portly pineapples
global bunion grunion
knock knock who's there? Banana
a horse walked into a bar and the bartender said why the long face
i am a silly boy who eats candy and has tea parties with stuffed animals
why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side
knock knock, who's there? a meatloaf
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up to the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. lt was a 3-story mansion with a silver and blue sidewalk, a 50-foot flagpole with an enormous Patriots logo flag, and in every window, a New England Patriots flag. Peyton looked at God and said "God, l'm not trying to be ungrateful, but l have a question. l was all-pro QB, l hold many NFL records, and l even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what's your point Peyton?""Well, why does Tom Brady get a better house than me?"God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Tom's house, it's mine." Google laughed, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 68.2046% The joke's popularity is: 2.999
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