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The Latest Jokes - Page 6
what's green and has wheels?
grass. i was just kidding about the wheels.
Little dog limped into a saloon, looked around and said, "I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw"
what did the snail say when he got on the turtle's back? Whooooooaaa
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Do you know what you get when you play a country song backward? You get your job back, you get your house back, your wife back, your truck back...
Weeding Out The Weakest A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular attrition of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate As fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And, THAT is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
i just flew in form london boy are my arms tired
What do ou call a platypus that was runover by a steamroller?
A Flatypus
knock knock whose there? orange? orange who? orange you glad i didnt say banana?
why do they call seagulls, seagulls ? because if they lived on the bay they would be called baegels
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!" Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 47.5194% The joke's popularity is: 3.111
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