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The Latest Jokes - Page 58
What kind of bee gives milk? A boo-bee
Why do divorce cost so much?
Because they are worth it!
If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
what do you call a man with no legs laying in front of your door? Matt
what's purple and goes bang bang bang bang?
a four door grape
People who live in glass houses shouldn't have pet Rhinoceroses.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he wouldn't die!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
That's right!
It's raining cats and dogs. Don't step in a poodle!
So, a string walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, can't you read the sign outside? No strings allowed!" So, the string exits. A few short minutes later, the string re-enters with sunglasses and a hat on, hoping that he has disguised his appearance enough to trick the bartender, but it doesn't work. He is once again thrown out. Knowing that he had had enough, the string went and laid down on the nearby train tracks and waited for a train to come and run him over. After a train finally came and ran him over, leaving him tangled and confused, the string re-entered the bar. The bartender asked, "Hey, are you a string?" And the string replied, "No, frayed knot."
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: One day Mike noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me", Mike stammered, "but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is." "Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied. "Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts." The burly gorilla is about to deck Mike when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments. Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside. "OK," the husband says gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife's tits." At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Mike takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. "Well, come on already, kiss 'em!" he growls. "I can't," replies our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling away. "Why not?" demands the husband, getting really angry now. "I don't have ten thousand dollars." Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 42.2351% The joke's popularity is: 4.838
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