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The Latest Jokes - Page 86
What happened when 2 pretzels were walking down a street?They got assalted!
What does a farmer say when he loses his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"
whats red and black and white all over?a newspaper
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Dodge SRT-4 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the SRT. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
"So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.
So how can I make 39,675 a year, a pretty small salary, and you get the really big bucks, $1,695,759, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic...
''Try doing it with the engine running."
Your momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
chuck norris doesnt read books. he stares them down until he gets the information he wants
did you hear about the mute frog that died?
he finally croaked.
A duck bought some Chapstick. The clerk asked the duck: "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck replied: "Just put it on my bill."
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years. The husband shyly stood and turned to the audience: "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions." The minister inquired, "Trips to where?" "Well," the man says, "for our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China." An appreciative murmer went up in the congregation. The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the bretheren what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?" "Big plans!" he said with a smile. "I'm headin' back to Beijing to pick her up!"
procrastinaters unite tomorrow
Enter some text (such as a joke, word, or phrase) and find out if Google laughs: Random Joke: Two sausages are in a pan, on looks at the other and says "boy it sure is hot in here" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!" Google didn't laugh at this joke, and the joke's funniness percentage is: 0.0000% The joke's popularity is: 0
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